The
Frustration and Anger of Waiting for Jesus,June 6, 2015
Amazing tonight, thanks to our dear friend Elisabeth in
Germany,
who sent me some music. I was introduced to Freddy Hayler
and
his amazing anointed songs. The Heavens opened even before
worship
formally began and the Throne of the Father was before me. I
ran
to him like a little 5 year old that hadn't seen her grandpa in
months.
I just flew into His arms and He held me so tightly and I
stretched
my little arms around His neck and held onto Him for dear life.
And
I just worshipped and worshipped and worshipped. Then Jesus,
as
always on my right, became visible and I launched into His arms just
sobbing and sobbing for having been angry with Him, for being so
quiet-today being the fourth day of His silence. I cried for having
presumed that I, a mere
creature,
could pass judgement on God and imagine that I have cause to be
angry...oh,the depths of my pride rivals Lucifer's. But Jesus is all
tender,
meek
and forgiving, eager to help me understand and repent. He's so
amazing.
He
began speaking, "It's so easy to be misunderstood. That is why
the very first night (of the 3 nights) I told you, be patient."
You
see, this is a fast offering...not hearing from Jesus so others can.
We offer up the consolation of hearing from Him and He in turn takes
our offering and appears to a Muslim in a dream and the man is
converted. Or if you are struggling to hear Him, you may all of a
sudden have a breakthrough because of others who are offering up
their consolations to Him, or waiting patiently for Him to 'return'
to the normal state of communication.
He
continued, "It's not easy, watching My Bride agonize over My
coming, watching other souls on the verge of a critical decision,
having to juggle both. This is not easy, and I know you, My Bride,
are suffering for this. And I need your suffering. Yes, this is a
cross and it will only be over when it is over.
In
the meantime, I sympathize with your suffering, even your anger. I
know, I know, I know...oh, how I know how hard this waiting is."
I
spent the first 30 minutes crying and repenting of my anger with the
Lord...for leaving us all hanging, without a substantial word every
night. I was angry at the Lord. He had appeared to me in armor
before a stormy sky for the last three days, just as He appears in
the illustration of Him holding His Bride in the boat. And it was
obvious He had been on the battlefield. I've been angry for days
because He wasn't giving us a teaching and wouldn't let me do one,
either.
His whole mood has been different: so quiet, close yet pensive and
distant, yet soaking up all the love I wanted to lavish on Him.
He
began again, "In the midst of this emotional storm, I am
praying for your perseverance, Clare. You must be an example to
them, you must keep their hope up and teach them the same lessons of
patience I am teaching you.
"Patience.
Yes, much patience is necessary right now, much hope and patience.
Don't grow discouraged. Don't grow weary, there are yet many battles
to face."
But
I thought...
He
answered me before I finished my sentence, "There can be many
battles in a very short time. Like now, you are in a battle for your
faith, hope, and perseverance. These are fierce battles. Don't think
just because it's calm on the outside it's calm on the inside -you
know what you've been going through. So are my other Brides going
through the same things. You are all suffering these apparent
contradictions together, even as My apostles did-yet they stood firm
to the end, even as you will. So, get up My Bride. Prepare for My
coming, but stand strong in the face of the storms which are being
leveled against you, Each in your own sphere, each in your own way,
each of you are in a storm and it's all about faith. Stand, I say,
stand.I am with you, but you must be patient...until My coming for
you. Would it do any good to say soon? Of course not, but you know
by the weather, the storm is in its final stages and you are being
groomed for Heaven. What does My Word say, ‘When you have done
all, stand?’
Yes,
stand in the face of the raging winds arrayed against you."
I am so sorry for being angry with You, Lord.
"I
have forgiven you, My Bride. You aren't the only one."
He
said with a twinkle in His eye as He looked out over the YouTube
audience.
"Many
of My Brides have grown impatient with Me. But, if I did not
need your backup, I wouldn't have allowed this suffering.
Because you are still with Me,
offering
your prayers for the lost, I am harvesting much fruit, here in
this nation and abroad. You will not know just how productive
you have been until you are here with Me.
"So,
now I tell you there is but a short way to go, but it's going to
get stormy. Stay onboard, don't fall into despair and jump
overboard. You have all come so far, the devils are filled with
wrath for you who have grown deeply intimate with Me. He will
attack this channel, but you stand on the truth you have
experienced in your own hearts and do not give way to illusions
and clever arguments. Follow your heart and protect what I have
sown in it. "This is why I say things will get stormy, but
there is only One whom you have to please... that is Me. So
stand in courage and strength and turn a deaf ear to detractors
lest you lose what you have gained for eternal life.
"Time
is growing shorter, and shorter, and shorter, and so you will
notice things will be just as they are in the song I gave you,
Clare. Yes, that song is prophetic, to give all My Brides a
reference point and a firm handle on the flow of events. I
admonish you, My Loved ones, songs are not just for
entertainment, but they also carry a message of hope to
strengthen you when the storm is about to overwhelm you. I did
not impart that song to her
that
it should gather dust on a shelf. It has important messages for
now and
after
you are gone, for your loved ones. Please revisit it, and leave
it behind for others. It is anointed to restore hope to those
left behind.
"So,
now I have told you a secret: I suffer the wait with you. If I
did not need you to be vigilant and waiting, even to the point
of frustration and anger...if I did not need that, I would not
have required it of you. This is Simon's cross-will you carry
it? I impart the strength and hope now. Receive it into your
hearts as you hear these words, carry it with Me, will you?"
"I
love you all to distraction and I long for those quiet moments
when I can draw you to My heart and we can exchange our
love...even you, My brothers.
Just
as John reclined on My heart, I long for you to recline there
and dwell in My Heart, drinking in the consolation of Our very
pure Love for one another."
SONG:
IN THE STORM
