August 13, 2016
May the peace and wisdom of Our precious Lord Jesus be with you, Heartdwellers.
Well, this message is a follow up on the spiritual warfare message that was given yesterday.
All day I was hounded by condemnation and self-hatred. Though I prayed against it, it just wouldn't leave. And now I have just gotten this Rhema, because it's back again today.
"The fear which you have with regard to sins committed is an illusion and a real torment brought about by the devil. Have you not confessed these sins? Of what then are you afraid? Once and for all, open up your heart to a holy and unbounded trust in Jesus. Believe that God is not the cruel taskmaster depicted for you by that perpetrator of iniquity, but the Lamb Who takes away the sins of the world, interceding for our salvation with sighs too deep for words."
So, He just gave me this word, because again there is this vague gnawing inside of me that I am bad. And maybe it has to do with all the condemnation that's being thrown our way on the internet - that could be it. Remember, we talked about how, when people talk against you, it's like knives in your back. And you feel it! Even though you didn't hear the words, spiritually you do feel it. And I believe it has been brought against me to cause a distance between Jesus and I. 'Cause when we feel badly about ourselves, we're ashamed of ourselves and don't want to go to the Lord. We want to hide and run! And that's precisely when we need to run TO Him. So, as I said, when people say ugly things about you, or they think ugly things - spiritually, it sticks to you. Even though you didn't hear it. And it can cause this kind of condemnation.
BUT THE ENEMY IS FOREVER FINDING WAYS TO TORMENT US. AND THE INTELLECT ALONE CANNOT PUT THIS DOWN. IT IS BY HIS NAME THAT THEY MUST FLEE, UNLESS HE IS ALLOWING IT FOR A SUFFERING.
So, now I am praying, "Lord, if this condemnation refuses to leave, I offer it to you as a fast offering for the conversion of Satan's servants on this Earth, that they may experience Your love and be added to the Kingdom of God, serving you for the rest of their days. Amen."
So yesterday, when I came into worship the very first song He played was Kari's song "Beautiful" which is one of the most awesomely pure, intimate, worship songs ever. It always tells me, "I'm here!" And just to get the point across He played it twice, once when I came to worship and once when I was about to give up on worship - He played it again! So I stayed, knowing that He truly was there.
And by the way, that's a very bad example. Just because you don't feel the Lord, giving up on worship is NOT a good example! So, please don't follow my example there! I think I'd been in worship for about 25 minutes - just loving on Him. But I still continued to feel so badly about myself...
But He broke through by using these songs. And for those of you who aren't familiar with this technique, what we do is, we put our worship list, put it on "shuffle" - and that way Holy Spirit can pick the songs as HE wants us to hear. And we get a lot of spiritual guidance that way.
And suddenly we were sitting in my garden together...it was night time, but flowers bloomed everywhere. Hanging wisteria - beautiful, purple drapes of flowers, and every kind of beautiful bloom. The garden seemed to be in full bloom. We were sitting together on a bench there and He was holding my left hand and moving our wedding ring around with His fingers and musing on the beauty of it. And saying, "You mean so much to Me, Clare. So very, very much."
And Dear Ones, just as an aside on this remark. Understand, that when He says these things to me - He means them also for you. Because He feels the same way about you. Please, take them to heart for yourself as well.
I had come under condemnation, because I really rely on my frappichinos for energy and concentration. They're home-made, with coconut milk and vegetable protein powder - and they really sustain me for a good four hours, and they really taste good, too! And I felt badly that I didn't want to give them up in order to have the spiritual gifts that come with fasting. In fact, I was hating myself and calling myself ugly, demeaning names. I was secretly hoping He would give me a word to turn my heart away from self-hatred, 'cause I know that doesn't do anyone any good. When you hate yourself, you tend to be very crabby and irritable with other people, 'cause you're so uncomfortable being in your own skin.
I was so scattered in worship - after only 25 min or so, I was going to give up for the night. But He played the song "Beautiful" again and I saw us in the garden.
He continued, "You are so beautiful to Me, so special, and yet you hate yourself for all the wrong reasons. Just hate your critical, life-stealing, judgmental bent and I will treat the frappes as if they never existed. My Beloved, you are putting far too much emphasis on your frappichinos. It's what comes forth from your heart that means everything to Me. Forego judgment, in all its forms - forever, and I will grant you the fast with your frappichinos.
"Truly, all that matters to Me is purity of heart and love. Fasting is a wonderful virtue and a way to put the flesh under submission to the spirit, but abandoning judgment? Forever? Is light years beyond any physical discipline.
"You are on the right track, trying to give this up, you truly are. But I don't want you hating yourself, Clare. Just like you tell others, "Hate the sin but love the sinner." How can you love others if you are so preoccupied in hating yourself? You can't. And there is no virtue in self-hatred... unless you are brought to your senses and see yourself in My mirror and abandon pride and arrogance. Then, a little of self-hatred like a fine seasoning, it goes a long way.
"But to dwell on that and constantly put yourself down is not healthy. It only shifts your focus from Me to yourself and I know you don't want that, anymore than I do."
Oh, Lord, you held my hand and moved our ring back and forth so tenderly and so pensively. I was very deeply touched.
"And well you should have been. I was sharing My deepest feelings with you. Feelings that words nor exquisite gemstones could ever express. Feelings I will indeed saturate you with in Heaven. Oh, I shall truly overpower you on that day, Beloved. Totally overpower you. Yes, even as I did the night My Spirit descended into your heart and you received me. You cannot even guess at what it will be like in Heaven...no, you have nothing to compare it with. But you shall have My fullness to the degree you can contain it."
Wow, then we need to continue to expand my vessel.
"Indeed, that is the whole point."
I can't remember who said it exactly, but there's an expression that: "We'll always be full of the Lord, in the sense that for a thimble-sized vessel - that will be full. And for a gallon-sized vessel - that'll be full. And for a barrel-sized vessel - that will be filled with the Lord." It may have come from Therese of Lisieux, who was a Carmelite nun who lived over a hundred years ago.
(The Lord continued) "But just as Therese said that she could not do great sacrifices to offer to Me, but that she could do everything from a motive of Love...just as she said that, so should you undertake forgetting yourself for the Love of Me. In other words, your love has such worth that a thousand fasts would mean nothing in its presence. Did I not say that if you have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if you have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, you are nothing. And if you bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if you give your body to be burned, but have not love, it profits you nothing...but still, the greatest of these is Love." I Cor. 13:2-3
"Love heals the aching hearts Satan has desecrated with his lies. Love restores hope. Love brings peace and unity among brethren. Love is self-effacing and prefers the last place. Love is the very particle that holds this universe together. Without love, all created things would cease to exist. Therefore, he who loves continues to sustain all the good I have ever done and is living hand-in-hand with My intentions for mankind.
"So you see, the things you and others place so much significance on are merely the eye of a needle, standing beside a camel. They mean so very little unless motivated by love. Then the lowliest and least significant deed takes on the sparkling beauty of a priceless gem.
"BE AWARE, MY CHILDREN, WHEN YOU FAIL TO LOVE, YOU FAIL ME. NOTHING AND NO ONE HAS GREATER INFLUENCE ON MY HEART THAN A SOUL THAT SHOWS LOVE IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE. YET, SOMETIMES IT IS NECESSARY TO SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE AND OTHERS MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IT WAS DONE IN MY LOVE. BUT I SEE THE MOTIVE OF YOUR HEART. THOSE WHO LOVE ARE LIKE ME."